on iPhones, and fixed gear culture

The iPhone is as necessery as tight jeans in todays world. If you want to be anything worth sneezing at you need an iPhone:
So of course everybody at the shop has one, but Mitch is probably the most prolific iPhoner of us all. He also wears tight jeans, "tweets" all the time when he's not on "Facebook," has a Bianchi Pista with chopped bars Oury grips and an Arospoke front rim and says tings like: "Dude" and "Rad." Therefore it's not surprising that he showed up this morning proudly calculating everybody's gear inch and gain ratios using his new iphone app: "bicycle gear calculator." "Yes, Shayne you have a74gear inch ratio on your Langster, that's rad dude...hardcore"
Then he proceeded to identifying the skid wear spots on Shane's tire, and illustrating how to rotate it to get the longest life out of the Race Lite. Then he tweeted ("made it to the shop, did a gnarly skid all the way up Cloverdale on my way here. yeah that's right UP!) proceeded to put on some Death Cab for Cutie, by hooking his iPhone up to our stereo and cranking it up! Mitch is Rad!